@salazarsboxing: My german shepard doesn't like dog food, so we have that in common.
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@ShittyComedian: Don't you hate it when you're so high on drugs that simple, everyday, mundane tasks become difficult? Anyway, I pissed on your sofa.
@PersianCeltic: When I die I want my tombstone to say free WiFi so people will visit more often. I will also name the network "HELP, I'M STILL ALIVE!"
@SardonicTart: *Hires life coach* "Ok, the first thing we have to do is get you off this couch and get you moving!" *Fires life coach*