@salazarsboxing: My german shepard doesn't like dog food, so we have that in common.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: My teacher said this project needs adult supervision. Me: OK, what do you need me to do? 5-year-old: Go find Mom.
@dafloydsta: HER: A man at work saved someone's life today. *flashback to me finding a dollar in the laundry* ME: I also have big news.
@AaronFullerton: Excited for the return of Game of Thrones. Not excited for the return of the phrase, "If you'd read the books, you'd know that..."
@SteveSuckington: ME: in closing, all of the facts I've presented today prove that Bush did 911 PRIEST: and now the bride will read the vows she has written