@RalphSudafed: My gf asked if I liked her more than I like chicken, and all I could say was "well I have known chicken longer..."
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@iYoungKhalifa: If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage..
@JumbledButts: *puts a DVD of 'Frozen' and a DVD of 'Dante's Peak' into the same DVD player* *'Waterworld' starts playing*
@Lisa_Laughs_: In order to prepare for the future, I'm going to practice wearing adult diapers. But only when I'm drinking.
@QwertyJones3: "What are you doing tonight?" Gonna smoke some Herb. "Nice." -guys who work in a crematorium