@VerifiedJayy: My gf said "tie me up and do what you want" so I duct taped her to the headboard and went to the bar
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@weinerdog4life: Don't ever ask a burrito if you should eat it, it will always say no, because burritos are really smart.
@HeyZeus666: The key ingredients for a successful diet : Duct tape Rope Rat poison Shovel Bag of lime Alibi What?...wait. Wrong list.