@VerifiedJayy: My gf said "tie me up and do what you want" so I duct taped her to the headboard and went to the bar
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@jonnysun: dave is coming over "normal dave or dave whos alwayes doing impressions of evrybody we know" [from outside] hi guyes, its normal dave "noooo
@MarfSalvador: [broken down submarine] captain: we only have two hours of oxygen left me: [holding 43 balloon animals] one hour
@weinerdog4life: I'm just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to help me put a bunch of ducks in my car.