@VerifiedJayy: My gf said "tie me up and do what you want" so I duct taped her to the headboard and went to the bar
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@TheDrunkStory: "I don't understand why people try to act drunk. I spend most of my time trying to act sober." - Florida State
@omically: Honey, I'm afraid we can't get married anymore. weed_hitler69 just told me I was gay. *looks at Xbox* Thank you sir. You've changed my life.