@BigBagOfScum: My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it's cause I'm afraid she might try to poison me.
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@amishschool: My son, 5, scared of the thunder. I told him that was silly considering the sun could explode any day, killing us all. Think that helped.
@LaceyNycole: *brings donuts to work* Co-worker: I have a gluten allergy, so I have to watch what I eat. Me: Cool, then you can WATCH me eat this donut.
@DosieDoe: I really don't have much respect for those that take drugs and alcohol. Like Customs, for example.