@BigBagOfScum: My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it's cause I'm afraid she might try to poison me.
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@ThePawfessor: eating red meat increases your chances of dying by 13%. i now have a 113% chance of dying.
@haleysfalling: hi yes i'd like a vodka salad please "you mean a bloody mary" yeah yeah whatever just hurry it up
@envydatropic: According to the CDC, the leading cause of death in 2016 was having a career in the 80's that brought you any level of fame