@omgthatspunny: My girlfriend always gets her way by pretending she's sad. She's an expert in sighcology.
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@AnkCoupleTO: Husband: *buys her flowers* Wife: No H: *buys her jewellery* W: No H: *starts extreme couponing* W: *gives him all the sex*
@markydoodoo: Ever say hi to someone and immediately regret it because now you know you have to say hi to them forever?
@WheelTod: I used to complain about crying babies on airplanes but last week I was flying, both pilots died & a crying baby landed us on a soccer field
@Jennabear32819: A cop pulled me over and said ''Papers...'' So I said, ''Scissors, I win!'' and drove off like a boss!