@realHamOnWry: My girlfriend and I are having a disagreement. She wants a huge wedding with 500 guests and a piano player. I want us to see other people.
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@PajamaBen_: "The Sun is dying. We need help" the scientists are speechless. Cool Dad kicks in the door & removes his shades "It's daylight savings time"
@YimsterFife: I woke up with a horse's head in my bed. And straw. And the rest of the horse's body. And cows. And a tractor. And this is a barn, I guess.