@joshgondelman: My girlfriend and I are thinking about adopting a dog because we've had no luck trying to have one naturally.
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@Reverend_Scott: Love is that feeling you get when you meet someone that makes you forget about all of your problems cuz they're causing all new problems.
@platinum2000: If you're suddenly feeling warm and wet, it might be because I put your Voodoo doll somewhere warm and wet.
@DeanB15: I got drunk with my dad once and I asked him if his boner curved to the left too, he replied "No, you got that from your mother". :(