@Thedudish: My girlfriend asked me to act like an animal in bed. So I peed on the pillow.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BikiniBabeLover: "PIZZA" IS ACTUALLY AN ANAGRAM... P - PLEASUREFUL I - INTERESTING Z - CANT THINK OF ONE Z - CANT THINK OF ONE A - "AGG"-CELLENT
@treywafer: Dear police: if you're going to racial profile, how about you check out the white boy dressed like he's in the matrix
@carlyken: Told my coworker I want a dragon. He said I'm crazy for wanting anything that might set all my shit on fire but he's the one that's married.
@Mr_Kapowski: My coworkers will stand around confused during a fire drill but the office turns into the Hunger Games when there's lunch brought in by reps