@Pundamentalism: My girlfriend asked me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
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@eudaimonium: Those who carry teensy cute purses shouldn't throw stones at those who wear cargo shorts, because I can carry more stones.
@Book_Krazy: Me: [walks up to boss] *SLAP* Boss: WTH?! Me: It's Natl Bully Month Boss: No, it's Natl Bully PREVENTION Month! Me: well this is awkward
@HatfieldAnne: TV chef warns against “over vegetablizing” a sandwich. I lean in closely, hoping he’s also against “under buttering” everything else.
@pinupteacher: I'm at my most pacman when I try and get to the snack table at a party without interacting with a single person.