@scarebro: My girlfriend broke up with me because she and I had different opinions. My opinion was that I was worth dating.
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@CindyMeakin: What did the boy with no hands get for christmas? Gloves! Just kidding, I don't know what he got. He hasn't opened it yet.
@_Ms_Moneypenny_: Friend: Can I borrow a pen? Me: Sure! *looks in purse* *pulls out perfume, 17 Hershey kisses, a stapler & a baby goat* Me: Sorry, no pen. :(
@ComedicBust: Before you say you "value my opinion," just know if a genie granted me 3 wishes, one of them would be to star in Sister Act 3.
@GoldenSpirals: I'm just a girl, sitting in her car, wondering what the person I texted "I'm in the cat" to, is thinking right now.