@scarebro: My girlfriend broke up with me because she and I had different opinions. My opinion was that I was worth dating.
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@Marlebean: P: ... M: ... P: Coal? M: I was trying to make a diamond. Proctologist: But that's not how... Me: I'm very uptight.
@TheToddWilliams: [Scientific Conference] Scientist 1: So science? Scientist 2: *nodding* Science.
@SummerCandyEyes: I think all the women who don't get a rose on the Bachelor should at least walk away with a cat.