@corysnearowski: My girlfriend broke up with me. I am devastated. How could you. I did everything. I surprised you with burgers every night
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@simoncholland: One good thing about having kids is that they are sick every time I get invited to something I don't want to do.
@ThaJawn: (Animal school) Lion: That's my desk Wildebeast: Sorry, I'm gnu -5 minutes later Sloth: *slowly falling from chair* Ha. Ha. Ha. Gnu!
@crylenol: Commercial for Twitter dot com: *man yells nonsense out his window* Narrator: Don't you wish there were a better way?