@BatmanOffDuty: One day I bet bullets will be replaced by flowers, and guns will probably be replaced by something that fires flowers with deadly force.
@squirrel74wkgn: *looks over back shoulder*
*puts car in reverse*
Wife: OH MY GOD
*slams brakes*
Me: WHAT?
Wife: Becky just posted the cutest picture
@lyric_intent: The most awkward part of being the first person to write something down, was then explaining to everyone that they were now illiterate
@supaj76: My ex-wife could've pushed Gandhi to violence.
@Cheeseboy22: I just googled "Is there really cowbell in the actual song Don't Fear the Reaper?" and my first response was, "Go outside and do something."
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