@TravLeBlanc: My girlfriend hates when I correct her grammar. She's like "What's with all the red pen marks in my diary?"
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@samalmightysam: Women can detect even the smallest of lies, but on TV they tell them they can lose 20 pounds in 5 days and they believe it all.
@ImTawanda: 1. Africa’s the 2nd most populous continent on earth.So when U meet an African abroad,dont ask us if we know sme other African U met before
@TheAlexNevil: CW: Who's the more the foolish: the fool, or the- Me: Ted, I don't have time for this, so I'm going to slap you hard then take myself to HR.
@shariv67: "I'd make an awesome president. Give me a problem, any problem." "Um, population control?" "Kill all the storks. BOOM!"