@TravLeBlanc: My girlfriend hates when I correct her grammar. She's like "What's with all the red pen marks in my diary?"
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@Darlainky: Me: Want to see me do The Robot? Friend: Sure. Me: Friend: Why aren't you moving? Me: Updating software.
@cool_as_heck: Me: smells like upyou'refreetogo in here. Cop: what's upyou'refreetogo? Me: *finger guns* catch ya later Cop: aww damn lol got me again
@HelmdawgE: My signature move is asking a co-worker wearing a suit on dress down Fridays, "how did the job interview go?" in front of everyone.