@Tmoney68: My girlfriend is pissed at me for never putting down the toilet seat. To be honest, I AM getting pretty tired of carrying it around.
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@KevinFarzad: What's being in love feel like? You know when someone cancels plans you wanted to cancel anyway? Almost as good as that.
@POTerritory: Editor: You wrote a play about Victorian England using menstrual blood as ink? Me: Yes, it's a period piece.
@XplodingUnicorn: I can fake my way through most conversations with my kids if I just look up from my phone every time they stop talking and say "no."