@Tmoney68: My girlfriend is pissed at me for never putting down the toilet seat. To be honest, I AM getting pretty tired of carrying it around.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@michaelianblack: "The ankle so important to a basketball player." Something the announcer just said.
@dshack8: "Lady In Red" is my favorite song about a guy that's trying to get laid even though he can't remember her goddamn name.
@gg21462: The guy behind me honked a nanosecond after the light turned green. So I put on my flashers and here I sit, tweeting about the whole thing