@ndiquote: My girlfriend is so crazy she even traced down the girl who once kissed me in kindergarten.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SaraMansford: 911: What's your emergency? Me: This guy just died in my arms tonight. 911: How did he die? Me: It must've been something I said.
@CrystalMoon214: About to go out and make some foreign dude's night by butchering the pronunciation of the food I'll be ordering.
@GUBLERNATION: accidentally stabbed a friend last night but a little later a different friend caught on fire and i put him out with my hand so i'm even