@ndiquote: My girlfriend is so crazy she even traced down the girl who once kissed me in kindergarten.
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@MartaEffing: I paid 4 the lady in front of me @ Starbucks. She hugged me. Deciding when it's the right time 2 tell her I hit her car in the parking lot.
@That_Damn_Duck: I learned all I need to know about how to treat my coworkers by watching every Saw movie at least ten times.
@myonlymizztake: Don't you hate it when you're planning someone's funeral, and they ruin it by coming into the room and talking to you?