@notorious_stars: My girlfriend looks super hot without glasses. That's why I stopped Wearing them
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@noog: "911 what's ur emergency" This guy's not breathing "Did u send him ur vibes?" Yes I been sending em "I'm sending some too" Okay he good now
@Jacksawyerr: If I could be any super hero I'd be The Flash, but instead of wearing his costume I'd wear a trench coat. Same name, different purpose.
@Michael_Erhart: [First date] Me: "So, what do you do?" Date: "I'm a librarian." Me: "Oh, my bad." *Whispers for the entire rest of the date*