@joeljeffrey: My girlfriend said she bought the lingerie for me, but then got upset when I put it on... I dont get women.
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@GrumpyBahr: If at first you don't succeed you will get a lot of advice from people who didn't succeed either.
@TraylorParker: My Sister is naming her baby Nevaeh because it's Heaven spelled backwards. I said, just name her what she's going to end up being. Tulsa.
@GrantTanaka: wife & I just overheard the kids talking about how they'll decorate the house after we die, so I guess we're sleeping in shifts from now on
@CraigBanksArt: Dear #Athiests Evolution could never design and create a machine that consumes scraps and produces bacon