@joeljeffrey: My girlfriend said she bought the lingerie for me, but then got upset when I put it on... I dont get women.
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@OkieGirl405: My boyfriend is taking me to a Spanish restaurant for dinner, I'm kind of scared, I don't speak Spanish, how will I know not to order dog
@DanMentos: "My first wife didn't have a gag reflex" Wow that's amazing "Yeah she never laughed at any of my jokes"
@13spencer: People who like "The Bachelor" are like racists; you know they're out there, but you just hope your friends don't feel that way.
@crushingbort: Ben Carson's book includes a story about single-handedly halting a bear attack during a school camping trip