@joeljeffrey: My girlfriend said she bought the lingerie for me, but then got upset when I put it on... I dont get women.
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@marinhubka: I milked the cow "We don't have a cow" the neighbors' cow then "Their cat?" Pretty sure it was a cow he was saying moo "Meow" Ah shoot
@PaperWash: me: just tell me I don't die in an Arby's bathroom stall Death: [sadly looking up from his book] look, what matters is how you lived
@david8hughes: The carwash is a great place to meet other millionaires who for some reason don't have garden hoses.
@kwirkyKerri: I don't wish anybody dead, but a well placed nasty rash on you would kind of make my day.