@iRowlf: My girlfriend thinks that I can't cook, but as soon as I figure out how much Play-Doh is supposed to go in meatloaf, I'll prove her wrong.
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@Reverend_Scott: [Starbucks] Excuse me, this isn't what I ordered. "You ordered a Grande." Yes, but this is Ariana Grande. "Sir, please just take her."
@Xoolun: My GFs family are religious which sux 1st time I stayed there her dad wouldnt let us sleep together Was a shame cuz he was very attractive
@HomeProbably: If someone overtakes me when I'm walking, I match their speed so it looks like I've got friends.