@clemdytan: My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy...so I came back drunk.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iGreenMonk: You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they're trying on clothes in the fitting room.
@Dirty_Naomi: I love slip on shoes because you can slip them off just as easy to hit stupid people with them.
@drhappyknuckles: First they came for the fat, whiny losers, and I said nothing, because they got me immediately. I was like the first person they got.