@FattMernandez: My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.
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@LexReturns: The ancient Egyptians had strict burial requirements which may or may not have included being dug up & displayed in a museum years later.
@chopper4jk: Text: How come you stopped drinking? Me: Because I kept waking up with you. Her: I hate you.