@Underchilde: My girlfriend told me to “tread lightly.” So when I ran over her, I drove really slow.
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@DanMentos: ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking... and this [copilot starts sick beatbox] is your captain rapping ALL OUT OF FUEL ALL OUT
@TheRolo: Wife: I think we need a break. *Titanic crashes into iceberg* Husband: THAT WHAT YOU WANTED? Wife: Yes.
@bridger_w: If approached by a bear, you can play dead, or you can acknowledge the bear, say hello, and see what it needs. Have some decency