@causticbob: my girlfriend was cold so i bought her a fur coat. #Snowmageddon2015
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@jessforaminute: Lick the corner of your mouth. The corner. JUST the CORNER. God damn it Diane do you want to be America's Next Top Model or the Hamburglar
@BromanConsul: GOD: hey can I have one of your ribs Adam: what for GOD: uhh science project Adam: you hate science GOD: look do u wanna get laid or not
@StarksWeek: I'm not saying I'm bilingual but if you shout at me in German I'll probably do whatever you want
@dreamsinchocola: When I undress there is a radiant shower that falls. Not of money or glitter, but of dog hair.