@dyldonot: my girlfriend went to slip into something more comfortable six months ago which makes me wonder how comfortable you can possibly be
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@nbadag: "my god, that man is trying to snatch her purse!" i'll be RIGHT back *ducks into phone booth* *pops head out 5 mins later* is he gone yet
@timdonakowski: Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
@KittyShittyy: *deletes fb account* *leaves social media* *goes to Himalayas* *pigeon comes with a note* *opens note* *candy crush request* *dies*