@ChaseMit: My girlfriend's car got stolen today, so if you see a man driving a dark green Honda Civic, PLEASE tell him I left some Skittles in there.
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@LackOfShame: [their last appetizer] Her: I don't want it. You have it. Him: I don't want it either, you... Me: *reaches onto their table and takes it
@djdarrellripley: Her: Isn't she your girlfriend? Me: No, No, No, I broke up with her two days ago. She just hasn't checked her voice mail yet...
@notalogin: *stops by new neighbor* Welcome, I brought you a cake! -Wow, thank you! You know, you didn't have to do that! Oh, ok. *walks away with cake*