@ChaseMit: My girlfriend's car got stolen today, so if you see a man driving a dark green Honda Civic, PLEASE tell him I left some Skittles in there.
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@Boleyngirly: Turns out I can hold my breath with a pillow over my face way longer than an old person. Innocent mistake..
@Mr_Kapowski: I like to ask people what their sign is and then read them a completely different sign's horoscope just to hear them say "that's so me!"
@AGreaterMonster: Hair growing from my ears and nostrils doesn't mean I'm getting old, right? Means I'm turning into a werewolf! Right?
@zachreinert03: My grandma married 2 men named Grover. I think she just had a thing for the name Grover, because she also married 2 women named Grover