@ComedicBust: My girlfriend's furious that I bought her The Golden Girls box set for her birthday, but I knew she'd get over it since she's not real.
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@JPHaddadio: They should put a statue of me next to the Statue of Liberty so immigrants know the American Dream is hit or miss.
@MsLadyLuvBug: It has been brought to my attention that people stickers on car windows are NOT pedestrian kills,but family members. Removing mine ASAP.