@ComedicBust: My girlfriend's furious that I bought her The Golden Girls box set for her birthday, but I knew she'd get over it since she's not real.
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@stevemarriott: Mediocrites was not the greatest hero from Greek mythology, but nor was he the worst
@SJSchauer: Friend: did you know that only female mosquitos bite? *later walking home* Me, getting eaten alive: evening ladies
@dumbbeezie: When someone says they have a surprise I quickly tell myself it's probably not cake. I'm tired of the let down.