@ComedicBust: My girlfriend's furious that I bought her The Golden Girls box set for her birthday, but I knew she'd get over it since she's not real.
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@tastefactory: Tattoos are a nice way to forever honor loved ones, like family members who have passed away, or skulls with bat wings that have passed away
@woodmuffin: Why don't they have a WHITE history month?? Why don't they have NON-handicapped parking spaces? Why's there no cemetery for ALIVE people??
@thenoahkinsey: If you didn't wanna hear "Baby smell is biology preventing the mom from eating it," you shouldn't have invited me to the baby shower, Carol!