@kelkulus: My go-to office prank is to sneak onto someone's unattended Facebook page and post "I'm undecided, which should I get, iPhone or Android?"
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@WigCannon: "Can I see your ID?" Sure, it's... *lowers sunglasses* *raises them* *lowers them again* "What are you doing?" I don't know.
@KellyMeldrum: It would be easier on everyone if my kids' teachers would cut out the middle man and email my homework assignments directly to me.
@audipenny: person texting me: hey I'm outside me: [covered in glue and accidentally tripping onto a pile of several thousand photos of you] uh HANG ON