@kelkulus: My go-to office prank is to sneak onto someone's unattended Facebook page and post "I'm undecided, which should I get, iPhone or Android?"
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@nbadag: [runs up to a group of people] ME: ZACK ATTACK GUY: lol is your name zack or— [thousands of bros crest a nearby hill] ME: [whispering] RUN
@PanicRestroom: How to run faster: 1. Drink a lot of water 2. Wait till u have to pee 3. Start running You're welcome
@AndrewNadeau0: Air Bud but from the perspective of a kid on the losing team that has to explain to his overbearing father he lost to a dog.