@CYComedy: My goal weight is for it not to look like I'm having a stroke when I yawn.
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@pinupteacher: Best thing about living in NY is you can order anything, anytime, and 30 minutes later it shows up. You see here? This here is an orangutan.
@INeed_AnAdult: Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.
@MissWont: It's alright if we're doing it all wrong. After all, we are the first generation to deal with midlife crisis by staring at our phones.