@CYComedy: My goal weight is for my waiter to ask me if I want a salad with my meal without bursting into laughter.
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@brianbowman73: How to cow tip: First, sneak up behind the cow. Next, get into a wide stance. Finally, slip the money into it's bell.
@Try2StopME: I'm going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance.
@ThaJawn: 4:*calls thing wrong name Me:*corrects him 4:*repeats wrong name Me:*corrects him 4:*maintains eye contact and repeats wrong name slowly
@robfee: Here lies Aunt Brenda. Trampled to death on the day after Thanksgiving trying to save $18 on a crock pot. Rest in peace, sweet angel.