@RideSallyRide69: My goal weight is to stop hearing 'you have a great personality'
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@mexinonblonde: *crawls towards him gets between his legs and asks* What do you want? Him-Whatever you want. Me-*gets a bowl of ice cream and turns on tv*
@QwertyJones3: Doctor: It's been weeks since we restored your vision. Thoughts? "I can't believe that British guy from the Geico commercials is a lizard."
@JRobb773: I'm a very honest person except when HR asks if I'm the one trying to weaponize the pigeons outside my office.