@donni: "My god...we're monsters," I murmured to a local monster, who nodded sympathetically
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@Cheeseboy22: Every time my dentist is kind enough to tell me I need to floss, I am kind enough to tell him that he needs to trim his nostril hairs.
@PandAmonnia: "YES, MOM! NO CRUST! You've been making my sandwiches for 37 years now, STOP ASKING!" *mom leaves crust on so you'll finally move out*
@JennyJohnsonHi5: When I was a kid I was so afraid of being kidnapped until my mom assured me there was no way in Hell anyone would ever want to take me.