@KevinSussman: My goldfish died. The good news is I’m inheriting a tiny treasure chest.
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@KalvinMacleod: HER: I'm ending this ME: why? HER: you’re way too literal ME: I promise I can change HER: prove it ME: *puts on a different shirt*
@SteveKoehler22: Top five movies that could easily have been about @ 'ers : -Alien -Psycho -Raging Bull -Close Encounters -One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
@fillthevacuum: If insanity is doing the same thing over & over and expecting different results, I must be sane cause I don't even like doing things once.
@WheelTod: [business meeting at restaurant] "There's more than one way to skin a cat" [Family of cats at next table] *mom cat puts paw on cat dad's arm