@Sassafrantz: My Google search in case someone ever steals my phone
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@JermHimselfish: Proper punctuation can be the difference between a tweet being well written and a tweet being well, written.
@ChipKellysBalls: WebMD is a Choose Your Own Adventure book where every single story ends in malignant cancer
@NicestHippo: Two ads? IN A ROW? On this website that gives me access to all the music ever made? I won't stand for it
@jackie_ibbyxo: If you yell Bloody Mary into a mirror 3 times at 3AM, as loud as you can, your mom will appear and tell you to shut up and go to bed.