@ConorTripler: my GOTH DAD license plate is not a vanity plate it is a coincidence. random string of letters. could ve happened to a dad without eyeliner
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@AimeeHelene1: "And this is my creepy husband, John." (The way my friend should introduce her husband)
@Scorpio1080: Black Friday: Because Only in America, People trample others for Sales the day after being thankful for what they already have
@MunkMania: I like men in uniform, but sometimes it's hard to flirt when they're handcuffing me for menacing or rescuing me from another kitchen fire.