@ConorTripler: my GOTH DAD license plate is not a vanity plate it is a coincidence. random string of letters. could ve happened to a dad without eyeliner
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@DirtyySouthMess: Apparently it's not enough to just show up, you need to be wearing pants as well.
@StockSwaff: Girls like guys who take charge: ask her out, plan a date, take a hostage, overthrow a government, nuke her ex's hometown, buy her a puppy.
@hazelmotes1: Alien: take me to your leader. Me: They all suck. How about I take you to this place I know where you can get amazing mini donuts?
@nbadag: FRIEND: get our wedding invitation? ME: i did, somebody hand wrote 'do not bring pan flute' F: yea i really wanted to make sure you saw that