@ConorTripler: my GOTH DAD license plate is not a vanity plate it is a coincidence. random string of letters. could ve happened to a dad without eyeliner
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@Michael_Erhart: Doc: "Your arm is broken. I'll put you in a cast for a while and it'll recover." Me: "Ok, but I don't get how being in a movie will help."
@BringDaNoyz: *walks up to counter at funeral home* EMPLOYEE: Can I help you? ME: Hi, yes, I'll take one death, please.
@Contwixt: In truth, spiders are harmless* *Save for a few species whose venom reprograms your immune system to tell your body to eat its own organs.