@ConorTripler: my GOTH DAD license plate is not a vanity plate it is a coincidence. random string of letters. could ve happened to a dad without eyeliner
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@ericsshadow: If she calls me lazy again, I swear I'll get off this couch and go take a nap in bed.
@_Ms_Moneypenny_: Friend: Can I borrow a pen? Me: Sure! *looks in purse* *pulls out perfume, 17 Hershey kisses, a stapler & a baby goat* Me: Sorry, no pen. :(
@StephanieOKC: Someone needs to tell Madonna you can't call it "Girls Gone Wild" when you're a 100.
@jonnysun: "the names bond, james bond" [5 min later] STARBUCKS BARISTA: i gota frappe for borbjorbple