@ConorTripler: my GOTH DAD license plate is not a vanity plate it is a coincidence. random string of letters. could ve happened to a dad without eyeliner
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@edfoxcomedy: "Doctor: Put the IV in. Nurse: The 4 what?" - chronic problem in Roman emergency rooms
@primawesome: Wait what do you mean Jesus loves me? Did he say something to you? OMG I'm freaking out right now tell me his exact words.
@Lazer_Cat_: *spits out mouthful of peacock feathers* I'm sorry, I thought these were for just anyone to eat. *gets escorted from zoo*
@Ohgoddessitsme: My fathers wife bought a "Christian cookbook" I didn't even know they had different recipes, I've been eating sin all along.