@ConorTripler: my GOTH DAD license plate is not a vanity plate it is a coincidence. random string of letters. could ve happened to a dad without eyeliner
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@smithsara79: Me: If I had a nickel for every time a guy interrupted me, I'd- Some guy: Be rich? Me: -put them in a sock and hit you with it
@fro_vo: Me [at the stove for 14 hours]: well it's true, a watched pot never boils Wife: you're supposed to put water in it
@LizHackett: I would be okay with a ghost in the house if every time a bathroom mirror fogged up with steam, it slowly wrote out "DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT?"