@tigersgoroooar: My GPS is basically just one more man in my life who I turn on and then ignore.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@RidiculousSheri: My life is like a movie where two soulmates meet in line at the grocery store, except I'm the woman behind them buying tampons and cat food.
@markleggett: We only have world peace today thanks to the tireless efforts of thousands of former beauty queens who didn't give up on their dreams.
@dubstep4dads: Judge: Show us on this doll where the man hurt you. Me: He didn't. But watch this. [I make the doll do a backflip] Judge: Holy shit lol