@cluedont: My grandad used to swear by refrigerators. And televisions. In fact, he was probably the most foul-mouthed member of staff Comet ever had.
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@JB1971_: Before I die I want to see a dog run out of a butchers shop with a string of sausages hanging out of its mouth.
@murderbytweets: In Hell, someone is constantly vacuuming while you're trying to explain directions to an old man.
@OfficialMizGin: Annoying guy trying to hit on me: This is like a scene from a romantic movie. Me: Yeah, I’m the iceberg and you’re the Titanic. #Queen
@WeissBrandon: Everyone quits smoking when they die, which sucks cause dying is a really stressful event that would be helped quite a bit by a cigarette.