@cluedont: My grandad used to swear by refrigerators. And televisions. In fact, he was probably the most foul-mouthed member of staff Comet ever had.
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@NicestHippo: You had a flat tire on the highway? What was that like? [cut to: me crying helplessly until AAA arrives] Your survival instincts take over
@LipLush1: 911: what's your emergency? me: I taught my Dad how to text 911: the problem ma'am? me: he CALLS to say "yeah, got ur text"
@SingleGirlAlert: Nowhere is it more evident That the middle finger IS a suitable mode of communication Than when driving to work
@mattgallo123: Oh dear... I should get out of the way, he's probably trying to catch a bad guy. -me getting pulled over