@cluedont: My grandad used to swear by refrigerators. And televisions. In fact, he was probably the most foul-mouthed member of staff Comet ever had.
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@KKAlThani: I bet whenever a cow eats a lot of grass she says to her friends "I've been eating like a cow!" and they'd laugh and moo or whatever cows do
@WHEREISWALTJNR: I want to be featured on the news and the caption below me to read *unintelligible screaming*.
@lcwf70: You said imagine my life without you... So I closed my eyes & am on a beach with a man who knows how to change a toilet paper roll.
@flashember: Dog (curled up, napping): I never poop on the carpet and I love cats. Wife: Is the dog talking in its sleep? "Shhh let sleeping dogs lie."