@totallymel: my grandfather destroyed the economy w/ the overproduction of coins he pulled from behind my ears. the market simply could not deal
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@MikeCanRant: if you hold a turtle shell up to your ear you can hear a turtle biting on your ear you dumb idiot
@WheelTod: My son is an embarrassment, I'm afraid. He came back from college for Xmas, and seems mortified to find that me & his mom have gone goth.
@better_off_dad: *phone rings Menacing voice: ‘Have you checked the children?’ Me: ‘Can you do it?’