@HorribleDancer: My grandfather died during sex. I still cry when I watch the video.
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@iwearaonesie: Apparently the first thing you should say after you back over your wife's foot is "I'm sorry" not "I guess that means no sex tonight"
@GarreTheFerret: Accidentally swallowed some food coloring. I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside
@philco816: *hands stranger a condom S: I don't need this Me: Yes, you do. I saw the way you pulled out of your driveway. Your pull out game is weak
@o__0Dev: I tried a vegan recipe book last night. It was much tastier than any of the recipes in it.