@HorribleDancer: My grandfather died during sex. I still cry when I watch the video.
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@nice_mustard: what if you thought you had met your soul mate but then you saw them put mayonnaise on a hotdog
@weinerdog4life: What's the normal amount of hair to mail someone? I feel like this is a lot of hair I'm mailing to someone
@smilely_gal: 7: "Mama, if someone licked the treadmill, would that someone get sick?" Me: "Are you the someone?" 7: "Maybe" Holy hell.
@rockymomax: [wakes up next to perfectly crocheted sweater with knitting needles in hands] Oh dear god not again