@caperbc75: My grandfather is so racist he only eats white chocolate at Easter.
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@pixelatedboat: The problem with millennials is they were taught to look up to Pokemon not *struggles to think of a thing old people respect* Mussolini
@daemonic3: "Open your gift" A 'non-stick' frying pan? "You don't like it?" Non-stick? [smashes rest of gifts] YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE STICKS BRENDA
@theedgeofchris: Dora the Explorer has taught me just enough Spanish to engage Spanish-speaking people in the worst conversation they've ever had.