@caperbc75: My grandfather is so racist he only eats white chocolate at Easter.
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@cosmicbibi: Research shows your medication is 879% more effective if you drink a 6 pack and a bottle of wine first. Also, I changed my name to Research.
@jergarl: It's like my Grandpa used to say ,"The fight with grandma isn't over until I fill her pillow with spiders and she gives me back my teeth."
@withanewname: "Son, you can practice the sex on holes in trees" "DAD?!" [next day] "Where you going with that broom handle?" "Checkin for squirrels"