@SaddestFinger: My grandfather told me that during the war he was exposed to irritants like pepper spray and mustard gas. Now he's a seasoned vet.
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@HiddleDeeDee: Going to a wedding today: Me: Do I look ok boys? 6: You look fine. 9: You look wow. Clearly I have work to do with the little one.
@Dawn_M_: It is completely unreasonable that family members are expecting me to remember things like what the names of their kids are. Preposterous.
@DadandBuried: You'll never know how creative you really are until you need to start lying to your kids.
@realHamOnWry: I'm no different than the average working guy. I have two arms, two legs and 4.2 billion dollars. ~ Donald Trump