@casual_koala: My grandfather wanted to stay fit when he turned 60 so he decided to start running a mile a day. He's 65 now and we don't know where he is.
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@Scimommy: Tried to impress 9 by making up sentences containing 3 of her vocabulary words at once, so now she knows what "nerd" means.
@batkaren: When writing science fiction, always Google your made-up planet name; 9 times out of 10, it's an existing yeast infection medication.
@benerdist: A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now how do you extract a fork from bone without causing more damage?
@radstunts: have u ever just taken your goth girlfriend out on a date but it gets dark out and you lose her in the parking lot