@david8hughes: My grandfather was so racist he had a white & white television set.
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@Rollmaninoz: *Godzilla smashing Tokyo & eating people. After destroying an asylum he suddenly dies* 60s cop1: what happened 60s cop2: haha nut allergy
@GiantsofDiving: Does everyone get take 'by mouth' printed on their pills or did the pharmacist look me over and think hmm...this guy might go the other way?
@Reverend_Scott: [running away from killer] KILLER: YOU'RE GONNA TRIP ON YOUR SHOELACES THEN I'LL GET U ME: MY SHOES ARE VELCRO KILLER: NOOOOOOOOOOOO
@rachellinfox: When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?!? Now I would date him for the prescriptions.