@Cheeseboy22: My grandma accidentally swallowed a fly. Feeding her a spider now...
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@squirrel74wkgn: [outside of bank] Guy (puts on pantyhose mask): Ok! Guy 2 (puts on mask): Ready! Me (wearing pantyhose): Ok, I'm gonna need a minute.
@PopSlapFunk: When 13 witches collectively fart in a cauldron and quickly cover it with a lid... *lowers shades* ...Dutch Coven.
@goodballs: Call me crazy but you can't follow, star, retweet, and trophy me and then act surprised when I show up to your house in a wedding dress.