@Cheeseboy22: My grandma accidentally swallowed a fly. Feeding her a spider now...
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@JosesLovesYou: So Nicolas Cage and John Travolta walk into a bar and the bartender says "hey, why the wrong face?"
@TheRohiniReddy: I want to have kids before my parents are too old to be able to take care of them.
@13spencer: I just found out that "Birdman" has nothing to do with Hawkeye, and now I want to see it.
@MBittersweet25: Every time my Father in law gets trashed, he asks if I've lost weight... So naturally I bring a bottle of scotch every time we visit.