@novicefather: My grandma coined the term "TC" in 1988 to refer to her tuna casserole.
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@alldrolledup: A Post-It note on every wine bottle at home that just says DON'T CUT YOUR HAIR AGAIN THAT WAS BAD
@buhsbaby_baby: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because you saw me eating that cupcake with no hands and you want my autograph?
@NoticablyBacon: Its a little cheesy but holding up a boom box outside her window and blasting the song "Cotton Eye Joe" will win her back everytime
@withanewname: "Honey?! What did you feed him? His poop is huge ... and green!" [the first of many struggles that Bruce Banner's parents faced]