@PeachCoffin: My grandma had a lock installed on her medicine cabinet poor thing no one's ever going to visit her again
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@domesticH: wish hard enough & anything can happen, they say. yet two hours later my stomach growls & my breakfast still isn't making itself. liars!
@ShrinkMedia: My wife is amazing in bed. She can fall asleep immediately no matter how loud the TV is on.
@Shock_Monster: Why do Asian people never seem to age? I met a chinese girl today & I estimate her age to be somewhere between 4 & 197.
@BillMc7: Starbucks announced guns are no longer allowed in their stores. Seems crazy banks didn't think of this.