@zachreinert03: My grandma married 2 men named Grover. I think she just had a thing for the name Grover, because she also married 2 women named Grover
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@daveexplosm: All the guys in working out photos look like they're straining or in pain, but there's lots of pictures of me with cake and I look happy.
@bobvulfov: (getting into a hot tub full of people) i guess we're making some people soup huh gang
@dafloydsta: [therapy] HIM: Should we talk about the elephant in the room? ME: I don't like to talk about him ELEPHANT: Ok wow I'm like right here man
@robfee: If you watch The Blindside backwards, Sandra Bullock becomes so disappointed in her black son that she abandons him on the side of the road.