@SadieSkyNinja: My grandma talks a lot of shit for someone who still uses a flip phone.
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@Zombie_Kit: Scary shit happens in horror movies at 3am. So when hubby woke up screaming with a leg cramp at 3am, I threw the bible at him.
@ArfMeasures: ME (working in a bank): Ugh I am so tired today ROBBER: EVERYONE ON THE GROUND & DO NOT MOVE ME [blowing up neck pillow] I could kiss you
@Reverend_Scott: *Clark Kent takes his glasses off* Jimmy: "OMG, it's Superman!" *Clark puts his glasses back on* "OMG, Clark! You just missed Superman!"