@shegotagronk: My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she's died so I could get out of having to go somewhere.
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@markydoodoo: Swiss cheese is cheating cheese cause there's holes where there could be more cheese stay woke.
@HollyHeals: Dressing up as the grim reaper while at work in the ER is not amusing says HR. So uptight.
@mikefossey: republican: taxes are bad democrat: they're good [i ride by on a skateboard eating go-gurt] its yogurt in a tube, dipshits. ever heard of it
@MistookMistake: I always carry a flashlight with me. That way, if someone locks me in their car trunk, I can entertain myself with cool shadow puppets.