@shegotagronk: My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she's died so I could get out of having to go somewhere.
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@ohpeetie: [ new burger joint ] Me: I hear this place has the best burgers in town Waitress: Yeah, and we make our own ketchup Me: *leaves*
@MrsJekyllsHyde: Coworker: I don't even know what's wrong with me. *sighs Me: Oo Oooo pick me pick me I know *raises hand with answer