@shegotagronk: My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she's died so I could get out of having to go somewhere.
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@seamussaid: if the neighbor kid is driving you nuts practicing saxophone you can complain or teach her Careless Whisper - maybe be a problem solver
@murrman5: excuse me, waitress? "I'm not a waitress" Oh, what are you then "Well, I'm a..*turns to other burger king employee* what the hell are we?"
@behindyourback: Dear Couples Who Fight In Public, stop trying to whisper and would it kill you to include some backstory.