@GodShammGod9: My great grandma started to giggle at a barbecue and when I asked what's funny she said " everyone here is alive because I got laid ".
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@murrman5: [trying to make it work with this really good looking girl that I have nothing in common with] ok what's your 12th favourite juice?
@OhNoSheTwitnt: My desires are... unconventional. (Hands you a phone and makes you call my boss and quit my job for me)
@Marlebean: "I should probably start filling this thing out." -I say about my son's baby memory book on his wedding day.