@GodShammGod9: My great grandma started to giggle at a barbecue and when I asked what's funny she said " everyone here is alive because I got laid ".
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@maurex23: [spelling bee] -your word is 'amnesia' -can you use it a sentence, please? -your word is 'amnesia'
@TheHeartlessBoy: Congrats to Lindsay Lohan for successfully portraying what happens to mean girls after high school.
@Douchekevin: I saw 300 lbs crammed into a pair of small yoga pants so now I understand how the Tardis on Dr. Who is real.
@TySmithdrums: Thousands of religions and you're damned if you choose incorrectly? There must be people in Hell asking,"So! What religion are you in for?"