@brocketxyz: My greatest accomplishment as a father? Teaching my son to scream, "I WANT MOMMY," whenever my wife sends me into his room.
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@shkeeber: Do you hate yourself? Do you wish someone would trip you down stairs? Do you enjoy lacerations & and surprise vomit piles? *hands you a cat*
@chuuew: [Snake family queueing to get on the train] [They spot Samuel L Jackson already on board] SNAKE DAD: Not this shit again.