@tdug: My greatest fear is having a star athlete injure himself and having the coach look into the crowd and point at me to take his place
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@Brampersandon_: [PetSmart] Why pay $30 for a bird when I can pay $10 & grow like 1000 of them? *throws bag of bird seed in cart* I'm such a smart shopper.
@ThisOneSayz: Me: I found some sunglasses. Got any wallets? Lost&Found: this isn't an exchange Me: *pulls sunglasses back* LF: security! Me: *runs*
@unravelingfire: Him: You're sexy as hell. Her: I'm an atheist. Him: You're sexy as vast abysmal and empty nothingness. Her: Awwwww, thank you.