@tdug: My greatest fear is having a star athlete injure himself and having the coach look into the crowd and point at me to take his place
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@NoogsCorner: Take Dr. Seuss, make him a black midget with chronic asthma and give him access to Urban Dictionary. Behold, Lil' Wayne.
@notacroc: [date] Her: so you're a mathematician? Me: no actually I'm a *pythagorean doves fly out of my sleeve and hit her in the face* mathemagician
@Prof_Hinkley: I was doing CPR on a co-worker for 5 minutes before someone told me that's just how she laughs