@tdug: My greatest fear is having a star athlete injure himself and having the coach look into the crowd and point at me to take his place
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@amydillon: Not sure if I should be more concerned about the son who locked me out of my bedroom today, or the one who showed me how to pick the lock.
@Reverend_Scott: Guys; if she stops responding to your messages for days, 100% of the time it's a technical problem. Keep trying.
@BlindChow: Dad: Son do u know why we named you Titanic Hitting an Iceberg? Titanic Hitting an Iceberg: Because I w– Dad: BECAUSE YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT
@Reverend_Scott: [job interview] What's ur greatest strength? "I wear too much cologne" No, I mean- "A lady legit passed out when I got in the elevator"